I am reading master Osho. My new spiritual leader. He says That there is no God. I am reading Matrix the philosophy. After reading Neuromancer the conclusion is one Matrix is result of Neuromancer and cyberspace. That there is pluralism of religions and there is no spoon to bend, you have to bend yourself.
Let my mind be a mirror and reflects the reality. I swim in an ocean of philosophy of different kind but result is only One - me in a middle of the fight between good and bad. I need to swim in books otherwise I will get crazy in a nuthouse.
To empty a mind get rid of all this crap which sits in me all my life I meditate in motion as master Osho says. Meditate in motion. I appreciate the day. I apreciate the psychotheraphy and all positive interactions with peers.
I hate being locked up, but I appreciate the people in my life and awakening. I appreciate that I am writing my book, that I took off the great heavy load off my chest and made notes about big chunk of my life and people present in this time. Time which will never come back, people which will never come back, because they are dead already. Bless them, my friends.
I have been accepted to another hospital lower security. I will live near the beach. I am looking forward to it. Changes. Changes are always good. New people in my life, new places, new energy. I am worry how I will pack my books, its over 160 of them. I am gasping for a cigarette. Today I went out first time after seclusion. My mail was full of crap, why no one write to me? Write to me please what you think of my site and my sweaty sentences.
While I am waiting for discharge I write my poetry and my book. It gives me fullfilment. I am not afraid of the future. I am looking forward, for a change. Have enough of stagnation and boredom of being detained. Psychic wrote to me that angel is taking care of me. That lots of bliss is on my way and changes.